Lexi decided to call me daddy or Pat daddy a couple of weeks ago. She told her paw paw during the fourth of July party. I thought it was a good idea to get him and Fidel black out drunk.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
The Little things
June 18, 2014 today was interesting Lexi is getting closer to me now. She wanted a good bye kiss when i went to work this moring and when we dropped her off at her Abuelitas house.
Jesse has started calling me Dee...He also calls me Pa Pa Pat
Jesse has started calling me Dee...He also calls me Pa Pa Pat
The MEETING!
Two very young children she says. A three and one year old. Very cool a great age to get involved with kids they will be able to build a good bond with a new person in their life. Hectic schedule she said, it is hard to go out and have someone take care of the kids. She is a widow so of course there is no dad weekends. This could be slightly problematic but, it is whatever. She seemed like a cool chick and I was never really going to find anyone at this point. I liked to meet in the middle of the day, if things went South then I still had a free Saturday night to recover. HA no! I really wanted to meet this girl but the kids schedule dictated her freedom. So, I might meet her for an afternoon coffee or something then decide if I wanted a date with her since Saturdays were not going to work. Coffee in the middle of the day in the middle of the week sounded so reasonable at the time.
We met on neutral ground. Thank you starbucks. Obviously not my first choice but, she was feeling pretty nervous about this whole thing. I was going to be her first Match meeting, no pressure. Luckily I was over caring about how other people felt about me, I was going to be me and help her get through this. Nothing to lose.
FOR REAL! She was inside, cool. She already had a drink, not cool. How was I supposed to buy her a cup of coffee and make small talk while in line. If I were to go get coffee it would have been rude to make her wait. No win, no coffee for me. I went to the table since I recognized her right away. It was not from her pictures but from how nervous she was. She did represent herself very well once she looked up I could tell it was her for sure. She WAS interesting I did like her face. She was interesting to me as a whole. She didn't stand up so I dodged a first hug. Score! I was not sure if I wanted hugs yet. I could not tell how tall she was yet and with those shoes I was not going to find out on that day. I thought to myself she IS cute and so country. I was going to rip my face off if she had a deep country accent. Well I am glad I dodged that bullet also, I was not prepared for what came out of her mouth but soon enough it became a pleasant surprise and sound. I was going to remain open and see where this went. I slid the gift I made for her in lieu of flowers since she mentioned she didn't like flowers and that she was very particular about smells so no smelly stuff for her. The gift was a clear pail with a coffee cup that I picked up while on my trip at Jellystone and there was a ton of candy. She said she had a sweet tooth. I was impressed with myself.
We talked for a while, most of it was about how new she was to dating and a lot about Tommy her recently departed husband. I got to know a lot about her in that first meeting and wanted to know more I also was not about to send this kid home without feeding her. I was also not going to make her first appearance in public a bust I was going to make sure she had a few good dates even if we didn't work out. I invited her to lunch where upon arrival she bolted from car to restaurant to table to ordering. I think she had her food on the table by the time I had my drink order in. I really was enjoying how nervous she was it was pretty endearing.
We met on neutral ground. Thank you starbucks. Obviously not my first choice but, she was feeling pretty nervous about this whole thing. I was going to be her first Match meeting, no pressure. Luckily I was over caring about how other people felt about me, I was going to be me and help her get through this. Nothing to lose.
FOR REAL! She was inside, cool. She already had a drink, not cool. How was I supposed to buy her a cup of coffee and make small talk while in line. If I were to go get coffee it would have been rude to make her wait. No win, no coffee for me. I went to the table since I recognized her right away. It was not from her pictures but from how nervous she was. She did represent herself very well once she looked up I could tell it was her for sure. She WAS interesting I did like her face. She was interesting to me as a whole. She didn't stand up so I dodged a first hug. Score! I was not sure if I wanted hugs yet. I could not tell how tall she was yet and with those shoes I was not going to find out on that day. I thought to myself she IS cute and so country. I was going to rip my face off if she had a deep country accent. Well I am glad I dodged that bullet also, I was not prepared for what came out of her mouth but soon enough it became a pleasant surprise and sound. I was going to remain open and see where this went. I slid the gift I made for her in lieu of flowers since she mentioned she didn't like flowers and that she was very particular about smells so no smelly stuff for her. The gift was a clear pail with a coffee cup that I picked up while on my trip at Jellystone and there was a ton of candy. She said she had a sweet tooth. I was impressed with myself.
We talked for a while, most of it was about how new she was to dating and a lot about Tommy her recently departed husband. I got to know a lot about her in that first meeting and wanted to know more I also was not about to send this kid home without feeding her. I was also not going to make her first appearance in public a bust I was going to make sure she had a few good dates even if we didn't work out. I invited her to lunch where upon arrival she bolted from car to restaurant to table to ordering. I think she had her food on the table by the time I had my drink order in. I really was enjoying how nervous she was it was pretty endearing.
El Spring Break
My spring break trip with the Goree family was scheduled for march 8th to the 16th so I had plenty of time to chat the ladies up and maybe find someone to spend some time with. My email to her went out on March 6th she answered the same day! Not a lot of time to chat and meet and decide if we wanted to chat while I was gone so chat and see where it goes. It turns out she had tooth surgery and some stuff so we were not going to meet before I left anyway.
I depart on my trip and by this time we had already gotten into some interesting conversations but we were still communicating through the Match system, we were not texting or emailing directly, I found this to be strange but she was cool. She could form complete sentences and apparently caught some of my sideways statements that I am so famous for. I was thoroughly entertained so the Match thing didn't bother me, I was going to wait this out and see where it goes, she wasn't going to make it through the trip anyway.
Day and night we communicated via Match and it was going so well. I was amazed, as long as she represented herself well on the site and was true to her pictures I figured we could hang out maybe more. It was worth a shot, I was hooked. I got back from vacation on Sunday and we set a date to meet for coffee during my lunch break and possibly lunch if that went well.
I depart on my trip and by this time we had already gotten into some interesting conversations but we were still communicating through the Match system, we were not texting or emailing directly, I found this to be strange but she was cool. She could form complete sentences and apparently caught some of my sideways statements that I am so famous for. I was thoroughly entertained so the Match thing didn't bother me, I was going to wait this out and see where it goes, she wasn't going to make it through the trip anyway.
Day and night we communicated via Match and it was going so well. I was amazed, as long as she represented herself well on the site and was true to her pictures I figured we could hang out maybe more. It was worth a shot, I was hooked. I got back from vacation on Sunday and we set a date to meet for coffee during my lunch break and possibly lunch if that went well.
The Match
My profile was visible, my membership was paid and I decided to see what was out there. I was being selective this time. I had standards to meet, there were things I was not going to deal with. I looked at the pictures of all of my matches, all of my searches and started there. I would pick the ones I found attractive, not attractive in the conventional sense I think. There had to be something intriguing, something deeper than skin. I was not in it this time for skins or notches I wanted to find a potential mate. I wanted to find someone special, someone that had so much going on under the hood that no one knew what I had found. A diamond in the rough, a real sleeper if you will. That of course is metaphorical.
I had a few takers, by this time I was finding some interesting women here. I was just being me and talking like I would in person if everyone had their life story on their shirt for you to read before approaching them.
I would talk to several of "Our Picks" on occasion and wonder how the hell they matched us up at all. I was actually having several very good conversations with seemingly ideal candidates I remember one in particular she was remodeling her house herself with her father helping and she dug up a big section of her back yard to pour a patio, she looked like Linda Grey so I called her Wonder Woman. I decided to see who else was out there so I was clearing the "Our Picks" section yet again. An attractive red-ish head caught my eye. She had a cute smile and there was "something" about her. I looked at her pictures and really liked two of the three but the third one was not a great picture but it was very real and made me curious about what she really looked like. She picked her pictures very well, I wasn't sure if she knew it. I thought to myself based on her pictures alone she was intelligent and might know how to play the game. I had to know more. I decided to read on.
"Life is short and it should be happy as possible" Ok, that's is deep but of course I thought "Life isn't short, It is the longest thing you will do. What will you do with your time?" Of course I was curious, what happened that you feel this way. My question was soon answered twenty-nine year old widow. Got it. Unfortunate, I wonder the circumstances. Irrelevant for the time being, that isn't enough to go on. Let's find out more.
The particulars have to add up, lets see where this goes. Oh! Two kids, how responsible. Ok, two kids works for me. Oh! Curvy you say? I had really started to enjoy looking at the right kind of curvy woman so bonus for me. She described herself as curvy. Is she a realist? There is enough in the photos to conclude she was not my size. She was nearby, also a good thing. Well, hello there interests. Let me look at you. Ok, Camping, Coffee and conversation, Hobbies and crafts, dining out, Music and concerts, Performing arts. Who the hell is this chick? She likes crafts, dining out, coffee, conversation and music! "Must read on" Sports and exercise include cycling and dancing? Cycling really! and dancing...I wonder what that means exactly.
Let us get to the summary I am intrigued. "I am a take charge kind of person that loves to have someone else take charge.=)" Smiley face huh? Dirty girl! Subtle but still we get it, we all get it. That is cool that you are ok with your sexuality though and at the same time somewhat discrete. I wonder how far that rabbit hole goes though. I am not exactly vanilla although I claim to be and no one elver really expects me not to be. The truth of it is that I am neither, I am open to just about anything under the right circumstances. Most of the time anything new or risque is academic for me the first few times then I can either enjoy it or not. I do not however have those desires on my own, I do not seek it out because some people can not handle the duality of it. She says she will try anything once, ok that is awesome I need adventure in my life. I need change and turmoil on occasion. I like a rocky boat, it is when I shine the brightest. I need to live my life the way I play my video games...ON EXPERT! Fuck her profile is so short but everything here is so spot on. Fun, outgoing, has it all together likes to laugh...Enjoys the occasional compliment. Who doesn't like something nice said about them. That's weird...OH! She meant Complement. Yes there is a difference. I didn't find this until later. Yes, I asked.
In her own words a list of favorite things. WTH!? start out strong with Castle (I was not familiar at the time), Bones, blah, blah, blah, walking dead and Being Human. Oh really Being human? Ok, this chick is interesting. Twenty Nine years old? She must have older brothers. Next up is food, Mexican food and Italian food are both good to me although as a Mexican we just call it food. Then there was the I'll listen to almost any music line...I call it a line because come to find out any means country and pop with a touch of hip hop available from Target (you know they only sell the radio versions). I was hopeful at the time but I know better I listen to anything so when she is around she picks, whatever.
Here goes nothing. Red21530
"It's not the worst thing you'll hear."
"But, I just wanted to say I like your face. I find it aesthetically pleasing."
"You came up in my "our picks" so I decided to say Hi.I should say something about "Being Human" or "Bones" but I've got* nothing right now although "Being human" is way underrated and kind of shocking to see anyone mention it."
Now you have done it good sir, she responded...
The Reason
I have a pretty great memory or so I thought. As time goes on we all forget. No matter how many times we are told we don't listen. I am listening. I want to go back and read this some day and smile like I am smiling now, because I think this is the real deal I think this is forever. This is so different than anything before it.
Where was I when it started? Not physically but emotionally.
I was alone, I was content, I was enjoying the single life of a comfortably well off bachelor.
I came and went as I saw fit. I did however notice that I was taking things from people. Single serving friends was a thing for me. I would go places or do things in order to satisfy emotional needs. I would base many of my decisions on what I was going to get out of going someplace. I knew places they would be happy to see me, I knew places I could go and talk to certain people about certain things. I noticed a pattern after a while. I didn't have a "girl connection".
Belinda actually pointed it out. Who knows what we were talking about but she said something about me not having a female friend to hang out with to center me for "girl friend time, because girl time is different than boy time.". I grew up around a lot of girls and spent a lot of time with my mother. I am very centered as far as masculine and feminine roles go. My mother taught me everything I needed to know in order to survive in a world without her so in a world with no one to "take care" of me. She taught me to sew, cook, knit, shop, clean, iron, make the bed...everything she knew how to do and expected me to do it better. It has been two years at this point since Brittany was my roomie and almost a year since she died. It has been five almost six since Lisa and I split up. So, yes it has been a while since I had a girl around to balance me.
I joined several dating sites and was fairly successful on the ones where people read profiles. I met some really great women and so not so great women. I met some women that were just lonely too. I felt bad for them but, I was not going to save anyone at that point. I joined not because I thought I would find my best friend and possibly the love of my life, I joined to find a friend. I was looking for someone out of my social circle and possibly outside of anyplace that I would ever go. I was looking for a foreigner in all aspects of the word. I was looking for someone with similar life experiences, someone that could teach me new things. I was looking for someone I could teach also. I knew it would be someone much younger or much older. I decided to be open about the whole thing.
I had a good talk with Heather while in Colorado and she made some good points. She actually told me to broaden my age range, so I did. I decided that I was going to be fair if I could talk to 22 year olds I could also talk to 56 year olds. Well there are not a whole lot of 56 year old women on these sites from what I could tell and the ones there seemed too stuff or too wild and crazy because all of the kids were gone and it was time to celebrate their life. The 22 year old women were still girls for the most part, some had pretty decent heads on their shoulders but their youth reared its head in very ugly ways. The ones I found made this apparent often. So I narrowed my search by five years. This seemed to work out better.
At this point I had decided that I was looking for something more serious, time to change the tone of my profile. At this time I was down to one site and one profile the rest were meat markets, hook up sites or games and superficial people. I did actually do some social experimentation while I was a member. I would take pictures in front of my material goods or while having a party or something. The pictures made a big difference in the responses you get and the caliber of person you talk to. I got tired and left the sites all together. A few months went by and I decided that I would find a way to present myself to the dating world as I truly felt I was. I read so many profiles and got bad vibes, bitchy vibes, I didn't want to be those people because I am not those people. I sat down picked my pictures and then wrote an as a matter of fact here I am here is what I am looking for profile. I then decided to find something similar something that someone put in a little effort writing and not just venting.
Where was I when it started? Not physically but emotionally.
I was alone, I was content, I was enjoying the single life of a comfortably well off bachelor.
I came and went as I saw fit. I did however notice that I was taking things from people. Single serving friends was a thing for me. I would go places or do things in order to satisfy emotional needs. I would base many of my decisions on what I was going to get out of going someplace. I knew places they would be happy to see me, I knew places I could go and talk to certain people about certain things. I noticed a pattern after a while. I didn't have a "girl connection".
Belinda actually pointed it out. Who knows what we were talking about but she said something about me not having a female friend to hang out with to center me for "girl friend time, because girl time is different than boy time.". I grew up around a lot of girls and spent a lot of time with my mother. I am very centered as far as masculine and feminine roles go. My mother taught me everything I needed to know in order to survive in a world without her so in a world with no one to "take care" of me. She taught me to sew, cook, knit, shop, clean, iron, make the bed...everything she knew how to do and expected me to do it better. It has been two years at this point since Brittany was my roomie and almost a year since she died. It has been five almost six since Lisa and I split up. So, yes it has been a while since I had a girl around to balance me.
I joined several dating sites and was fairly successful on the ones where people read profiles. I met some really great women and so not so great women. I met some women that were just lonely too. I felt bad for them but, I was not going to save anyone at that point. I joined not because I thought I would find my best friend and possibly the love of my life, I joined to find a friend. I was looking for someone out of my social circle and possibly outside of anyplace that I would ever go. I was looking for a foreigner in all aspects of the word. I was looking for someone with similar life experiences, someone that could teach me new things. I was looking for someone I could teach also. I knew it would be someone much younger or much older. I decided to be open about the whole thing.
I had a good talk with Heather while in Colorado and she made some good points. She actually told me to broaden my age range, so I did. I decided that I was going to be fair if I could talk to 22 year olds I could also talk to 56 year olds. Well there are not a whole lot of 56 year old women on these sites from what I could tell and the ones there seemed too stuff or too wild and crazy because all of the kids were gone and it was time to celebrate their life. The 22 year old women were still girls for the most part, some had pretty decent heads on their shoulders but their youth reared its head in very ugly ways. The ones I found made this apparent often. So I narrowed my search by five years. This seemed to work out better.
At this point I had decided that I was looking for something more serious, time to change the tone of my profile. At this time I was down to one site and one profile the rest were meat markets, hook up sites or games and superficial people. I did actually do some social experimentation while I was a member. I would take pictures in front of my material goods or while having a party or something. The pictures made a big difference in the responses you get and the caliber of person you talk to. I got tired and left the sites all together. A few months went by and I decided that I would find a way to present myself to the dating world as I truly felt I was. I read so many profiles and got bad vibes, bitchy vibes, I didn't want to be those people because I am not those people. I sat down picked my pictures and then wrote an as a matter of fact here I am here is what I am looking for profile. I then decided to find something similar something that someone put in a little effort writing and not just venting.
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